Confrontation
#7 of The
by Setcheti
I’ve been tryin’ to corner her for a week, and now I’ve got her in my sights. No gettin’ away now, Dr. Weir.
I walk out on the balcony and let myself admire the view of Atlantis’ ocean for a moment before goin’ over to the rail and leanin’ on it, right next to her. “We’ve got a problem,” I say.
She sighs. “Something biological? Don’t tell me we’ve got a virus or something on the loose. And you said Dr. McKay’s cold was just a cold.”
“It is, you don’t have to worry about that.” I’d like it more if she was worried about it, considerin’ how he got it, but that’s not what I’m out here for. “No, we’ve got a problem with a member of the staff.” I don’t look at her, even though now I know I’ve got her attention. “We’re in a very dangerous situation here, Doctor, one where it’s entirely possible that someone you know today might not be alive tomorrow. And we’ve got someone who’s not handlin’ that very well.”
Another sigh. “Everyone
handles death in their own way,
“That’s the problem,” I interrupt her, and now I do turn to look. “The person I’m speakin’ of isn’t handlin’ it at all, and more than that she’s keepin’ others from handlin’ it too.”
She looks right at me, and it takes her a minute to understand that it’s her I’m talkin’ about. She tries for offended. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You most certainly do.” I keep to my lean, look back out at the waves that we know now can turn so deadly durin’ a storm. “The first time, I thought you’d just been in a panic and I let it go. Then I found out there’d been a second time, same incident with that bloody bug and the jumper stuck in the Gate. And now I hear you’ve done it again, this time to McKay.” I slant a disapprovin’ glance at her, one I’d seen my mother use on my dad to great effect. It works even better on Weir because she wasn’t expectin’ it, and while she’s still shocked I stand up straight and face her, movin’ a little to block her from takin’ off on me. “Dr. Weir, I understand you don’t want to see any of these people die. I don’t want to myself. But by denyin’ them the right to have their last say, you’re in effect tellin’ them they have to face death knowin’ their unfinished business won’t be taken care of. And you’re also tellin’ them that you don’t care how they feel about it, only how you do.”
She straightens up and does her best to look like the person in charge. “I just don’t want anyone giving up when they still have options…”
“Askin’ someone to take care of somethin’ for you if you don’t make it is an option, it’s not givin’ up,” I correct, a little more sharply this time. I knew she’d be stubborn about this, but I can’t afford to let it go. I take a step forward, puttin’ myself right in her personal space – might work better if she wasn’t taller than I am, but it’ll do. “Do you know what it was that the major wanted so bad to say that time, Dr. Weir? Remember, the time you kept cuttin’ him off…right before I had Ford kill him?”
All right, that won me a flinch. Good. She shakes her head, so I keep on. “He wanted you to pass a message on to his mother, if we ever made it back in contact with Earth,” I tell her harshly. “He wanted you to tell her – in person, mind you – that he was sorry he didn’t get to say goodbye.” I cock my head at her, lift an eyebrow. “I’m sure you’ve seen everyone’s record, but did you ever bother to try diggin’ around beyond that, Doctor? Did you really think all these people volunteered for a mission they were pretty sure they wouldn’t come back from just because it was goin’ to be some big bloody adventure?”
That found her tongue. “Major Sheppard didn’t even want to come at first. I asked him.”
Nice try. “Major Sheppard wasn’t sure he wanted to come,” I correct. “The way I understand it, General O’Neill gave him just half an hour to decide – either come with us into the great unknown or lose his career to another black mark.” I let just a hint of a bitter smile show. “And all he wanted from you was your word you’d find a way to pass on a message to his mother, since that bloody bastard of a father he’s got wouldn’t let him speak to her before he left.” I let the smile widen, not in a nice way, at her look of shock. “The first black mark, you know. He disobeyed a direct order…and got disowned for it.”
She flounders a little. “I didn’t know.”
“You didn’t need to – all you had to do was swallow your own fears and grant a dyin’ man’s request.” I cut her off before she can try to correct me. “He was dead when he got back here, Doctor. And if it hadn’t been for McKay knowin’ CPR, he’d have stayed that way no matter how much you didn’t want it to happen.”
I’m not goin’ to address what she might or might not feel for Sheppard, or whether he feels somethin’ in return. And there’s no way in bloody hell I’m goin’ to start speculatin’ on what Rodney’s thinkin’ about the whole thing – like half the time I’d even be able to guess at what goes on in that mind of his, since half of every time I try he’s surprisin’ me again. I know she’s goin’ to ask me, though, and she does. “Do you …do you know what it was Dr. McKay wanted to ask me?”
“No.” What a great bloody lie to pack into that one little word. Of course I know, but I’m not tellin’ her. If she really wants to know let her butt heads with Rodney her own self and see how she comes out of it. I fold my arms across my chest and frown. “I only told you about Sheppard so you’d understand what kind of damage you’ve been doin’ – and because even though he asked someone else to do it when you wouldn’t, you’re the one they’ll have to come to to get it done.”
I know she’s dyin’ to ask me who that person is, but I’m not givin’ her that one either. Hopefully she’ll never have to find out. “I think I understand,” she says slowly, thinkin’ it over as she lets the words out. “So you know about Teyla’s people’s request?”
“Yes. And I was bloody well disappointed in you for imposin’ your own fears on them as well.” I haven’t left off the frown yet. “Don’t let it happen again, Dr. Weir. Because if it does, I’ll be relievin’ you of duty for bein’ unfit until I’m sure it’s sorted out.”
Her mouth drops open, then snaps shut into a scowl of her own. “You don’t have the authority to do that, Dr. Beckett.”
“Not officially, no.”
I’ve got another smile for her, the one my grandmother always said
looked like the devil inside of me showin’.
“But you can ask any person in there,” I wave in the direction of the
city we’re standin’ outside of, “and they’ll tell you to a man that I can do it. I guarantee you they all firmly believe I
have that authority, and because they believe it, I can do it. So don’t give me cause,
She doesn’t have an answer to that, and I don’t expect her to for a little while at least, so I turn away and walk back the way I came so she can be alone. Her voice stops me at the doors. “And just how do you know everyone believes in this authority you don’t really have, Dr. Beckett?”
She’s a stubborn woman. I smile but don’t turn around, and throw over my shoulder as the doors slide open, “That’s easy, Doctor – thirty-five years of Star Trek.”