Explanations

follows “New Horizons”

by Setcheti

Disclaimer: Don’t own them, don’t have room to keep them anyway. This story is written in the Outward Bound AU, the rest of which you can find here.

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The security man following Lieutenant Jackson stayed outside in the corridor when he entered the mess, something the doctor was grateful for; he hadn’t really wanted to be ‘escorted’ into this meeting like a common criminal. Even if Starfleet seemed to think he was one.

Nathan wished there was some way he could change their minds about that, but right now appeal wasn’t possible with Starfleet – they’d been out of communications for over a month. He thought that Captain Larabee calling this meeting was a good sign, though. Maybe they were at least going to let him off his confinement to quarters. And if he argued his case well enough, maybe he could convince the captain that the situation with Ezrastas and Tanner needed to be looked into more closely. He hadn’t found any anomalies in Tanner’s records, but further testing was definitely warranted in the doctor’s opinion.

Larabee and Sanchez were alone in the small multi-purpose room off the mess that was one of the Outward Bound’s few ‘free’ spaces; the prototype ship was built compactly, with little space wasted for amenities, so this area was alternately a conference room, workroom, storage space and/or extra brig. Right now it had an oval table centered in it and a scattering of chairs, and a terminal had been hooked up near the head where the captain was seated, sipping coffee and looking as inscrutable as his first officer ever had. Jackson nodded to him. “Captain.”

“Lieutenant.” The new title wasn’t offered insultingly, just in a matter-of-fact tone that belied the fact Larabee hadn’t spoken directly to him since their confrontation in Nathan’s quarters at the beginning of the whole mess. The captain waved him to a seat. “This is informal, Lieutenant, just sit down. You can get some coffee if you want.”

“No, I’m fine.” Nathan was a little put off by Larabee’s nonchalance, though. He gingerly took a seat, feeling uncomfortable and not liking it. “What did you want to discuss with me, Captain?”

Larabee snorted softly. “Don’t play dumb, Jackson; you know exactly what we’re here to talk about and so do we. The only real question here is where are we going to start and were will it end up.” He pushed the coffee cup away and leaned forward. “I’ll answer the first one, I’ll start. You committed some very serious infractions a month ago and you’ve been duly punished for them by both myself and Starfleet. Personally, just so we’re clear, I don’t even want you on my ship and right now I still don’t trust you as far as I can throw you, but I can’t afford to indulge either of those sentiments due to the current situation. I already addressed the crew about this earlier today, and now it’s time to talk it out with you.”

Nathan nodded. He’d heard the shipwide announcement earlier and hadn’t known quite what to think about it. “If I might ask, Captain, why didn’t you tell the crew the whole truth?”

“Because most of it is either classified information or personal business between members of the senior staff,” Sanchez answered him in his deep-voiced rumble. “And those who think they need more answers will ask for them. Which is the other reason we’re here; those answers need to be consistent to avoid confusion. We’re on our own out here, we can’t afford to let any sort of unrest get started that might trigger a mutiny.” He fixed the doctor with an intense blue eye. “You haven’t exactly been making my job any easier in that area, you know.”

The doctor scowled. “You can’t expect me to pretend I’m fine with the situation when Starfleet took away everything I’ve worked for because of a mistake.”

“A mistake?” Larabee rolled his eyes. “If that isn’t the understatement of the year I don’t know what is. You were stripped of rank and privileges because you disregarded the chain of command and violated ship’s – and Starfleet’s – security, Lieutenant. Your feelings about Vulcans in general and my first officer in particular didn’t enter into that part of it; what nailed your hide to the wall was giving the Vulcans our shield frequency codes.” He sat back in his chair again, a small, triumphant smile softening the hard planes of his face. “Luckily for us Tanner has been changing those codes once a week since we started patrolling our sector. And when the N’Shalla’s transporter beam bounced off the shields that let me know we needed to get the hell out of there and we were able to duck them before they could get their weapons locked on us. They still jammed our communications while they were chasing us, though.”

Nathan’s mouth dropped open. “They were going to fire on us?”

“They did fire on us, they just missed thanks to our navigator – Wilmington’s been practicing since that needle ship attack, he put us through moves I didn’t think were possible even in this ship.” Sanchez chuckled. “And young Mr. Dunne broke through the jamming long enough to get a message off to Starfleet so they’d know we were in trouble, he apparently got through before the Vulcans could ask permission to cross into the restricted zone to ‘render assistance’ to us.”

“This crew certainly proved itself,” Larabee acknowledged. His smile still had a grim edge, though. “I just wish the cost of all those commendations everyone earned hadn’t been quite so high.”

“I…I just don’t understand,” Nathan admitted quietly. And he wanted to; he felt like half his universe had been hauled through a looking glass and he wanted someone, something to yank it back into reality. So far nothing had. “Vulcans aren’t like that.”

“We didn’t think so either.” The captain shrugged. “But Josiah and I have both checked the historical archives and what we found backs this situation up. It also explains the hatred the Vulcans have for the Romulans – it’s not just the philosophical difference, it’s the genetics that stick in their craw.” He raised an eyebrow at the doctor. “Dunne told me that he thinks they have Kashanik in Romulan culture too, he’d just never connected the references because he didn’t have anything to connect them to. Romulans prize their ‘genetic throwbacks’ for their beauty and intellect. He thinks they’re still kept pretty carefully, if the language they use to describe them is any indication, but they aren’t slaves and they aren’t allowed to be harmed.”

“I…read over the stuff the admiral sent me about that – the harm they supposedly do to the Kashanik, that is.” Nathan stumbled a little over the Vulcan word he was having so much trouble accepting. “Dr. McCoy sent a message too.”

“I just bet he did.” Larabee had read it, of course, he’d read all of them, but he didn’t think Jackson needed to know that. “Did you believe him?”

The question was blunt, and Jackson answered in kind. “Yes, but I’m having a hard time with it. It flies in the face of everything I know about Vulcans, to believe something like that has been going on all this time. I mean, I worked there, lived there for two years!” He grimaced. “I should have seen it, I would have seen something, right?”

“They’ve been hiding it for centuries, Nathan,” Sanchez consoled him, understanding part of the problem a little better now – and he could see that Larabee did too. “You wouldn’t have seen anything. Apparently even most Vulcans have never seen a Kashanik.”

“And like I said, we’d checked the historical records and Starfleet has been having these kinds of problems with the Vulcans ever since there was a Starfleet, even before the Federation was founded. And I know none of that was in the history you learned at the Academy,” Larabee interrupted before the doctor could open his mouth to protest, “but that’s because the Vulcans are our allies and it’s taken a hundred years to beat the last run of anti-Vulcan prejudice they kicked off by pulling stunts like this.”

Jackson nodded slowly. “I…I think I can believe that.” He took a deep breath. “The day I decided to contact the Vulcans, I’d run into Tanner and Ezrastas in one of the corridors. They were laughing, both of them, but when they saw me they both got scared and quit.” He hung his head. “I ignored that, the fear I saw in both of them. All I could see was that I needed to fix a problem, and when they pushed me off, I…I decided to go off on my own to get it done. I knew you wouldn’t go along with it, but I thought I knew best.”

“Not all problems are things that need to be fixed,” Larabee told him. “You and I have had that conversation before, more than once.”

“We have.” The doctor sighed and raised his head again. “I should have learned my lesson after those needle ships attacked us.”

“Yes, you should have. And now you’ve paid for that mistake, in spades.” It was the captain’s turn to sigh. “And unfortunately the crew is paying for mine; I knew there was a problem, Kirk had even noticed it and said something to McCoy, but I let it go. If I hadn’t, we wouldn’t be in this mess right now.” He fixed a hard eye on Jackson. “But we also wouldn’t be in this mess if the trust I’d put in you hadn’t been so severely misplaced. I understand you’re a perfectionist – that’s why I wanted you on my ship. My mistake was not keeping a tight enough leash on you.”

Larabee's sigh was what clinched it. Until now, Jackson hadn't really considered how the captain was taking this whole thing; the crew, yes, but not the captain. The doctor doubted that Larabee had gotten reprimanded, but he obviously considered what had happened to be a personal failing on his part. Jackson's shoulders squared. Well, that at least he could fix. "It wasn't your mistake, Captain," he said firmly, meeting the man's eyes - eyes that had shadows in them, shadows he and his interference had put there. "I...I deliberately concealed my actions from you. I knew you'd stop me." A deep breath. "I knew I was doing something wrong, even though I told myself I was doing it for the right reason."

"In any other circumstances you might have been right," Sanchez replied, but he wasn't offering absolution and Jackson knew it. "But you should have trusted our captain - and our chief engineer, too."

"I know. And before you say it, I know it's something I can't fix." It was Jackson's turn to sigh, and he slumped back in his seat. "So now what do we do?"

“I’ve been asking myself that question.” Larabee rubbed his eyes. He looked tired, and the doctor wondered how he’d been sleeping – not too well, obviously. “We have a definite morale problem on board right now. The crew didn’t sign on for this, and we don’t have any way of knowing when they’ll be able to contact their families again.”

“And some of them were starting to speculate that whatever it was the Vulcans wanted maybe we should just give it to them,” Sanchez rumbled. He was pleased when Jackson flinched. “I think the captain’s announcement should have settled most of it, the worst problem was that no one knew exactly what was going on and speculation was running rampant. But we still have morale issues among the senior staff, and we have to take care of that immediately.”

“I told Tanner and Ezrastas to come, they should be here any minute,” Larabee said. “We can’t let this confrontation wait any longer. This is a dangerous area of space, I can’t have my chief medical officer unable to stay in the same room with the chief engineer and the first officer.” Or, he didn’t add, have all of the above unable to interact with their captain off the bridge. He really had let the silence go on too long, if Tanner’s reaction to his earlier summons was any indication. Ezrastas wasn’t so easy to read, of course; after that single burst of emotion on the bridge a month ago the Vulcan had gone back to wearing his imperturbable mask and was all business as he performed his duties about the ship. “If they’re not here in five minutes I’ll go looking, but I don’t think…”

The door hissed open, and Tanner and Ezrastas walked in – cautiously, as though they weren’t sure what to expect – and straightened to attention just inside the door. “You sent for us, Captain,” Tanner stated formally.

“At ease, Commander, Lieutenant Commander,” Larabee replied, just holding back another sigh. He didn’t think Tanner had so much as saluted him since coming on board the Outward Bound; this would have been funny if it weren’t so damned serious. “Take a seat, gentlemen, we have things to discuss.”

The two younger men shared a long look, and then Ezrastas shook his head and circled around the table to take the available seat between Sanchez and the captain. Whatever it was that passed between them as Tanner settled into the chair opposite brought a look to the engineer’s face that was so grim Larabee almost winced. “Mind sharing that one with the rest of us?”

He’d put it mildly, and Tanner shrugged. “He’d rather be taken himself than have me used as a hostage against him, that’s all. It’s logical, but that don’t mean I have to like it.”

Sanchez expressed the wince Larabee hadn’t. “You think we’d do that?”

“It is possible, if the doctor argued his case sufficiently well to convince you Starfleet is wrong and he is right,” Ezrastas replied, apparently unruffled. “He has been checking the commander’s records most thoroughly for signs of mental instability. And you have had me under guard for the past month, Mr. Sanchez, so obviously both yourself and the captain also have doubts.”

Larabee held back the expletive that wanted to slip out. Yep, the silence had gone on too long all right. “It wasn’t you we had doubts about,” he corrected bluntly. Jackson would just have to take this on the chin, he wasn’t going to beat around the bush and pave the way for yet another round of misunderstandings. At this point, Larabee thought it would be one more round than they could afford. “We can probably dispense with the security detail now, but they were there to protect you, nothing else.”

One of the Vulcan’s eyebrows went up. “And the similar detail assigned to Doctor Jackson?”

“I’ll keep that one hanging around a little bit longer,” Sanchez told him, after a look from Larabee informed him that he’d damned well better. “I believe we’ve got the problem well in hand now, though.”

“Our good doctor’s witch hunt through the medical records is going to stop too,” Larabee stated flatly. “I didn’t know it was going on until today or I would have put a stop to it sooner. Starfleet may not understand the Vulcan mind link thing but they know it happens and they don’t have a problem with it – McCoy said it doesn’t cause any trouble on either end so long as it’s consensual.”

Jackson gave Tanner a pointed, questioning look, and the engineer shot back to his feet. “Why you son of a…”

“Commander!” Larabee snapped, cutting him off. His glare was all for the doctor, though. “Lieutenant Jackson,” he ground out. “Apologize. To both of them. That was uncalled for even if you didn’t say it out loud.”

“I had to ask…”

“You didn’t have to ask, you wanted to,” the captain corrected. “What part of ‘drop it’ don’t you understand? It’s over, you were wrong, so quit trying to dig yourself out of a hole that’s already been filled in around you, all right?” He looked back at his chief engineer and grimaced. “Comm…Vin, just sit back down and try not to take his head off, all right? We’ve got to get this settled, it can’t wait any longer.”

“I agree with you there.” Tanner sat back down grudgingly, cocking an eyebrow at Larabee. “I know what our plan was, so what’s yours?”

Larabee didn’t like the sound of that. “You two had a plan? What plan?”

The engineer shrugged. “Plenty of M Class planets to pick from, we were just waitin’ until she got close enough to one for a shuttle to make it safely.”

“An uninhabited M Class planet,” Ezrastas added quickly. “One where our presence will not be in violation of the Prime Directive.”

Sanchez shook his head as though he thought he hadn’t heard right. “You two were planning to leave the ship?”

It was the Vulcan’s turn to shrug. “It seems our only option. As the captain said, this situation cannot go on any longer as it is. And there truly is no other logical solution. The Vulcan High Command will not give up their quest to retrieve me, so my remaining on the ship is…impractical.”

Jackson frowned. “But the ship needs her chief engineer.”

Ezrastas sighed, green eyes flickering over to Tanner and then back to the doctor. “So I have told him. We are at an impasse.”

“Damned straight we are,” the engineer snapped. “You aren’t goin’ alone, Ez.”

“I’ll second that.” Larabee felt shaken, but didn’t show it. “We can handle this in-house, no one is going anywhere unless we all go, got it?”

He didn’t get the agreement he’d expected, which was another shock. “With all due respect, sir,” Ezrastas replied, very evenly. “I cannot comply with that order.”

“Me either,” Vin stated, although his refusal came out with a hostile edge that had Sanchez’ eyebrows climbing to his hairline. “You can’t order us not to resign, Captain. The regs say Starfleet officers can’t be compelled to stay in an ‘internally hostile situation’, especially not one that could get them killed.”

That stung Jackson to try to defend himself again. “I never…”

“You sure as hell did – pretty sure you will again too.” Vin snorted. “Just what were you plannin’ to do to me once you found those signs of ‘mental instability’, Lieutenant? You’ve been lookin’ for an excuse to lobotomize me since I got on board, remember?”

“I just wanted to help!” The doctor’s pent-up anger went from ebb to flow in a heartbeat. “You’ve got a problem, I wanted to fix it. That’s my job, dammit!”

“No, it wasn’t,” Larabee inserted before Vin could respond. “Once and for all, Lieutenant Jackson, if Starfleet passes something as okay you do not have the right to pursue it. I don’t need my officers afraid to go into Sickbay, or any of the rest of the crew either – especially not now.” He took a deep breath, restraining his temper. “Now listen, this is how it’s going to be: I’m letting you off confinement to quarters, but you’re still going to be monitored and you’ll have a guard on you at all times when you’re in Sickbay.”

Sanchez raised an eyebrow. “Captain…”

“The admiral said if I felt like it I could keep him in the brig until we get back, I’m being extremely lenient,” Larabee snapped, waving a hand at the openmouthed doctor. “You heard him, Mister Sanchez; even in the face of all the evidence and knowing he screwed up he still isn’t letting it go, and I won’t let him run loose around my ship until I’m convinced he’s not a threat to any member of this crew. And as for the two of you…” he shifted his focus to Tanner and Ezrastas, deflating significantly as he did so. “As your captain I owe you both an apology. My mishandling of this situation over the past month was inexcusable, and if either of you want to make a formal complaint to Starfleet it will be logged for transmission to the admiral just as soon as we’re back in contact.”

“Don’t think that’ll be necessary, Captain,” the engineer told him with a shrug.

“It was…an impossible situation,” Ezrastas added, nodding.

Larabee nodded too; he’d expected them to respond that way, but regulations demanded he offer them the opportunity to seek recourse. “All right, then. And for the record, I have no complaints about either of your conducts during the time you’ve served on my ship. So unless you have anything to add, Mr. Sanchez…” the security officer shook his head, “I guess this meeting can be adjourned. Dr. Jackson, you may resume your normal duty schedule at 0800 tomorrow. Dismissed, gentlemen.”

Tanner and Ezrastas left first, not quite trailed by Jackson, who looked like he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure he should. Larabee was sure he shouldn’t and so let him go without comment – he would give the man that much chance to stay out of confinement at least. When the door hissed closed behind the doctor Sanchez sat back in his chair with a sigh. “Well, that’s over.”

To his surprise, his captain shook his head and stood up. “Nope, not quite,” Larabee disagreed. “There’s one more thing that has to be settled first.”

When the door to Vin Tanner’s quarters buzzed an hour later the engineer was surprised to find Larabee on the other side of it, out of uniform and looking determined but somewhat unsure. “You accepted the apology I owed you as your captain,” he said without preamble, holding up a bottle of Saurian brandy. “I thought this might help us work on the one I owe you as a friend.”

Tanner just looked at him for a moment, and then he smiled. It was a small smile, but it was the first one Larabee could remember seeing on him in a month. And as the engineer stepped back to let him in, the captain saw a smile he’d never seen before on Ezrastas’ face and he knew his apology had been accepted, by both of them. Now it really was over…and they could get on with this business of adventuring that Jim Kirk seemed to like so much.